Board of Directors
Great Cthulhu is President and CEO of RIPSHIT. Before R'lyeh sank beneath the South Pacific leaving him to plan his return in more subtle ways, Cthulhu was a great general and supreme commander of the first invasion of the earth, conquering much of the planet's pre-cambrian landmass. Great Cthulhu is also head of the Department of Strategic Studies, Foreign Policy and Military Affairs.
Yog-Sothoth is Chief Operating Officer and is coterminous with (and can therefore manipulate) all time and space. Because of this particularly unique ability, he was consulted by an international panel on theoretical physics to determine whether the Large Hadron Collider would create a black hole that would engulf Earth. He assured the panel that he would not allow it, because black holes are “damned painful and I've already got enough of them pinching and twisting me up in various and private places”. Yog Sothoth also heads the Science and Technology Department.
Azathoth is Chairman Emeritus of the Department of Primal Horrors Too Horrible For Description (DPHTHFD), examining the policies, strategies, events and instruments that are most chaotic and destabilizing to the strategic environment such as terrorism, ethnic conflict and weapons of mass destruction. Azathoth contributes to RIPSHIT from his full-time position at the Throne of Chaos at the Center of Ultimate Chaos.
Correspondents and Assistants
Dagon is the maritime affairs correspondent for RIPSHIT. Well connected to a global network that spans all the planet's oceans, he is the primary source of information on the environmental, economic, technological and security issues that affect and are affected by the world's maritime environment.
Nyarlathotep is RIPSHITs primary contributor for social and political affairs. A world-class and well-connected traveler, his ability to get inside the scenes information (or create behind the scenes disruption, we're not we're not quite sure which) helps craft his extraordinary insight into what seems to be mankind's perpetual “season of political and social upheaval”.
Abdul Alhazred is unique in that, while one of two correspondents in human form, he is the only permanent staff member who is actually human. He is he permanent on-site manager and editor at RIPSHIT. He also coordinates requests for and schedules all appearances and speaking engagements by correspondents and directors. (Please provide three to six months lead time for requests as he is, by his own admission, insanely busy.)
[1] RIPSHIT is really just one very nerdy dude without a life who's not as smart as he lets on. Although he pretends to be a staff of several writers with extensive experience in domestic and international affairs drawn from spending strange aeons outside our plane of existence studying terrifying volumes of arcane knowledge that would drive humans insane, he is none of the above. But humor him and just pretend it's that way. Okay? Thanks. He's really stoked that you're playing along. You rock.
